Society is not structured to nurture and support the person going through his or her painful passage. The world hardly cares to know you in your moment of defeat. It’s not glamorous; it’s not sexy. The cameras flash and the crowds cheer for the moments of glory, and so people shout about their triumphs, but conceal their seasons of loss. So, when we feel lost, we often feel alone; we fear something must be wrong with us because we wrongly believe others never go through this too.

I now strongly believe we owe it to ourselves and to each other to share those moments of pain and loss — when time has made us ready to do so. In sharing our experiences, we free ourselves from the prison called “keeping up appearances”; we relieve ourselves of the burden of pretending we are always strong or our lives are perfect. We let ourselves be known as the humans we are, with all the beauty and limitations the term implies.

If you are stumbling along the rocky path, there is no need to be ashamed of what you are going through. Know that this is simply a passage, and that rich rewards await you when you navigate your way through. 

The absurd notion that it is shameful adds an unnecessary burden to your task and hinders you in moving forward. Cast it off; banish shame. If pain is now or has been part of your experience of living, then so be it. You are like millions of others in suffering for a spell, and like millions of us, when you pull through, you will appreciate the totality of your experiences.

As you create the life of joy you want, it is crucial that you surround yourself with people who can motivate and support you. 

There may be people you know who may want to encourage you to focus on what is wrong in your life, just as they want to whimper about what’s awful about theirs. Steer clear of such circles of weakness; they will keep you stuck in misery. 

Build, instead, circles of strength as you move to higher levels of aliveness. Align yourself with people on the same wavelength, maybe family and friends with whom you share this book and your thoughts, new friends you make at healing workshops, whatever. With a network of fellow travelers, you will find sympathetic ears, shoulders to lean on, helpful advice, understanding and encouragement. And you will find yourself in the deeply rewarding position of being able to share these with others.

I wish you well on your journey. Please let me know of your experiences. I’d like to share them with others so they, too, can benefit from the wisdom and strength you have gleaned along your way. 

Good luck and God bless.

— Celia Sankar

INTRODUCTION
Life presents a door to a better way
A personal passage
Self-love is the key
How to use this book
Create your circle of strength

Read the Preface